Life with art.

Watercolor with ink and color pencils by me.

Wetting paper, the whole page or just one place at a time. Picking up as much pigment on your wet brush and touch the wet page.

The most beautiful color bleeds on the spot into tiny feathery fingers. Then another color. All bright and beautiful. New images comes to mind.

A mind sometimes only seeing darkness. A brain deteriorating gradually. But the colors and images of the watercolor paint explodes into new ideas, new energy and happiness.

You still look young, a beautiful painting where no one can see the deterioration and sometimes you feel you have to explain or prove that which you loose sometimes day by day or gradually is unfortunately real. Nobody wants it, but it creeps up to you.

Then comes the tears, the waters over your page, sometimes all in the open… the whole page at once. Sometimes just spots around the corner where no one see.

But then you pick up that brush, dip it in that water, fill it with beauty. Red, purple, yellow, greens. An entire rainbow to brighten up your day. God will never leave you nor forsake you. Beautiful flowers flow out of your brush. Giving yourself and other new hope. We know the end, but we can live the in between in beautiful colors. Find out what your paintbrush is. For those that lost their paintbrushes already, help them. Take their hand and move the beautiful paint around. Ignite each others sparks to momentarily reach the surface.

Take a pen or brush or camera and discover the beautiful and whimsical beauty that will always stay in us. Let us share our beauties with each other and even leave each other encouraging notes.

Art brings your brain and imagination to life. Art can be anything, even gardening. The sky is the limit and sometimes these beauties leaves something for our loved ones to remember us by. Not with sadness, but with the joy that the colors of the rainbow brings.

With love and kindness.

Elmarie (Saro)

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End of year… balistic!

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This is my head, mood, emotions and and and and!!!! This is no new news to any person… human being on planet earth, except for those idiots that recon COVID 19  is some sort of alien conspiracy and putting the rest of planet earth’s population in danger of dying and dying themselves by the loads full.

I’m tired and angry. I had enough. What else can I add that starts with “I”.

I’m tired of being scared, lonely, frustrated, desperate and plain angry. How could a whole year be so horrific? 2020 is…. I lack the propper words for a suitable comparison.

I think I have just repeated myself more in a few sentences than in my entire blog.

The masks is choking a person.  If you have a wet sneeze it’s snot all over your face and particularly bad if you wear one of those see threw plastic masks that covers your entire face… I leave that to your imagination. Next one a burp after a particular garlicky meal and someone said if you smoke, it can become really stuffy.

Another thing about masks, I battle to recognize people or properly understand them if voices are so muffled. You cannot see if someone smile. The world turned into one huge unfriendly place.

You can zoom and socialise like that, but that is no real touch and a presence that only two or more bodies can create in a room.

Everything changed. Well you can say “new normal” until you are blue in the face, I can’t even figure out my phone when it updates, so how do I do “new normal” when the dementia is already doing a daily “new normal” number on me. How the F do I handle this?

I feel unable to move from my chair and do the things I like or have too. I do look forward to the kids I tutor 4 days a week, but that’s another angry story. Everything is just too much for me. I stoped smoking going for 2 years now, because of the vascular dementia, but my husband insists to choose his pipe over his family and the secondhand smoke is depriving me more and more of oxygen and my brain just happily dies off more and more.

I’m fed up for comfort eating the same stuff every day, I want something else to eat. Although, I think the reality here is that I want Corona and everything just to go away. Is someone just going to draw a line on Old years eve and we step over it into 2021 and everything will be ok again???? I think not.

If you think I should change this topic or are fed up because everyone is talking or writing about Corona… suck it up and bugger off. Go read something else.

I’m lonely. When I got my diagnosis, I chose to withdraw myself, but now I want human company and interaction, not counting kids.

Another thing…. “end of year” always has it’s own problems. You miss people you lost and don’t have with you anymore over the so called “festive season”. This time is marked by suicides, many of them young people.  Depression after losing your job or business in this year. Bad thing about being depressed… it is not very acceptable or fashionable to even just mention that you are depressed or have an intense desire to end your life. You just don’t do that.

I think I said enough for now. Don’t know if I made any sense at all… but that’s it for now.

Saro (Elmarie)

Sticky hands and toilet tea.



Hi everyone. I just had the idea of writing some of the stories of when my children were small. All ready did one about Nita my youngest and the turmeric accident.

I so wish I could show the photos, but I don’t know how to get them on my ancient laptop. I so wish I had a new one…. state of the art new one…. in fact so new, that it will take me a while to figure it out…. I got dementia right? lmao

One day me and the two of them were playing tea tea. Table set by them all fixed, even “tea” in the cups. After about the third cup daintily sipped with pinkies in the air, I started wondering where the water came from. See the two little nuggets were still way to small to reach any tap. So the next time Lora, my eldest, went to refill the teapot, I tiptoed after her…. Dear Lord she filled the teapot out of the toilet. I was so speechless. In fact I’m still speechless. She just turned around with her lovely blonde hair like a halo and blue eyes and asked…. Mummy, do you like my tea? I just picked up the little muchkin and smothered her with kisses. After that incident I had to expand their education.

I used to drive an old… very old truck. As they grew bigger, and it rained, they put their schoolbags where their feet should be and the knees were next to their ears… Lol one day something went wrong with the hooter and we drove all the way to the garage while the hooter were hooting and hooting. First we freaked out and then we laughed so loud, that the tears were flowing down our cheeks. When we pulled into the gas station, the owner came running out, indicating I should open the bonnet and just pulled a wire…. SILENCE… SILENCE… BLISSFUL SILENCE and us laughing. I think I’m getting off the track.

What I wanted to tell was that when they were really small, I would take them out of the truck one by one, put their hands against the truck and told them to stick to the side of the truck, mummy want’s them safe and they might meet up with my hand if they don’t stick to the side of the truck. They never needed punishment. People would look at us, as if we came from Marsh. When we come back from the shop… same thing. Stick to the side, mummy want to put the shopping in the truck. Same thing when we for instance went to the doctor… I would let them sit next to each other on a chair or couch and told them to stick… they never moved. They were and still is such adorable children. I love them to the moon and back. The memories are so special. I now hear about a few of their excursions, and adventures that would never have made it past me… They definitely had some wisdom and some real moves when it came to doing…. Mummy must not find out things. Nothing ever bad. Only like hiding in the tree when I need them to do something… well, that one ended when one of them fell from the tree. No injuries, only now Mummy knows about one of the hiding places.

Lol, talking about that, one day I heard them screaming something terrible. I ran out and found one of them, can’t remember which one, most probably Nita hanging from the wire fence hooked on her panty, dress over the head. They apparently went to visit with the boys next door, by climbing over the fence. That idea definitely came from Lora, I’m convinced and sure.

Got to go. Thank you for reading and sharing my memories.

Lots of love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)

Positive

Positive. See, I just started my blog positive. It is a desperate wish of mine to start or write today’s blog positive…. NO man! not positive for COVID-19…! Positive in attitude, thoughts, any other suggestions?

Everything feels so negative. I have no contact with the outside world… wait!!!! My Zoom buddies. O dear, we can be so funny, but I notice that we find it more and more difficult to keep the conversation light and funny. All of us…. for those that don’t know, have some form of Dementia and are early onset. We understand each other and even though the contact is virtual…. we figured Zoom out plus minus before the rest of the world, I would like to think lol.

What I wanted to say is, that we actually are a close family, even though some of us are really live across the pond. The two from England Peter and Andrew are on their worst behavior. Andrew just tested positive for COVID-19 and Peter is in hospital, being tested. Now I worry my self in a spin. They are important to me, all of them are important to me and I guess we are all important to each other. I love all of my Dementia Mentor friends so much. Creeky takes me to the beach on Sundays in Corpus Christi Texas. Ok… we chat on Messenger and she show me the beach and sea and birds flying over. Just got to love the girl with that nice bottle red hair of hers.

In the beginning of the lock down thing and start of the virus, I was concerned, then it escalated to worried, then anxious and then plain scared. Now I just feel numb, don’t feel like doing anything. The dishes in the kitchen is singing:” Tomorrow, tomorrow… tomorrow” In a lovely falsetto tone. And me…. just bugger off Okay!!!!!!! Imagine the dishes and pots etc, forming a line and starts a march across the field, past the cows, waving at the crows, saying hello to the sheep or something like that. Or I just might… Okay am definitely digging up my firm believe of fairies. Fairies whose sole purpose is to make me comfortable and then clean the house, do the dishes and I can supply them with a nice menu. A girl can dream or what lol.

Got to go, our President want’s to talk to us…. God save the Queen…. no… that the Brits!

Good night, Good morning and Good afternoon dear friends and family and now, I did not drink, it is against the law here in South Africa.

Saro (Elmarie)

Day, I have no idea, of lock down. Snakes…..

Hi, I’m still on the Discover Prompts thing. I suggested snakes, so here goes… A true story!

We still lived in Welkom, we were young and the kids were small. Now I’m the kind of mother that can remind you of a hen with her two chickens. Well okay I’m still a hen with her two grown up chickens, which I will protect no matter what.

Earlier the day we discovered a snake, name or kind unknown and forgotten by now. I had a lovely lady that worked for me and lived in. Well the snake were pulverized and husband in all wisdom and expert knowledge told everybody that where there is one there is two or one snake always have a little friend or is a married couple or whatever.

So a whole arsenal of sticks, shovels and broom has been put in a corner near the kitchen or at least, near for the moment the enemy turned up and needed to be killed. Happily we all watched TV and the next moment I saw it…..! The snakes chum, wife, husband or whatever by the open front door. It stood with it’s head raised up. I gave the mother of all screams, grabbed my chickens, one with my left arm and one with my right arm and jumped on the sofa. Well all three of us were screaming our heads of, while husband and house angel sprung into action, each grabbing a weapon and stormed for the front door. Swear words, screams, many words were uttered in that moment.

The next moment a silence and standstill happened in front of the front door. Such a monumental anti climax…. and you could see the question mark appearing in my head…. And? Well dear wife, your snake is the broom’s dustpan. The handle that was standing in the air just above the ground.

And so house angel went back to bed, husband missed his favorite TV show and being snotty about the fact. Two little girls giggling about the whole affair and mommy that is so strong and who screamed the hardest, and me feeling like a total monumental asshole.

The next day my husband actually saw another snake in the yard. What was weird was that he told me that he saw the snake and the next moment it was like it turned over like a hand and vanished…..

Well that’s my story about snakes, dustpans and mysterious vanishings.

So what’s up? What’s the new Discover prompts?

Lots of love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)

Discover prompts: Song

I read this post and sorry I cannot remember who’s post that was, just that I must put “Discover prompts” in the tags. Well this prompt is: Song

Well I do have a favorite song with good memories. It is The Anvil choir from Il Trovatore. You can listen to it here.: https://youtu.be/-8aHsJdMEMY

Before we retired we usually went on holiday every year for round about 3 or 4 weeks. Quite frankly after the first 2 weeks I already wanted to go home. We always went to some resort or something like Victoria Bay for the first 2 weeks and then 2 weeks visiting family.

Well this holiday, the kids still small and did not complain about our choices of music, we discovered The Anvil choir and Il Trovatore. We listened to it over and over and over and then started again. We were so happy and carefree. Kids were good. Petrol prices for okay. We saved the change throughout the holiday in a pencil tin and used that for petrol to get back home. Hmmmm That’s a good memory with today’s really really crap petrol prices. Guess what… we don’t go on holiday anymore. Although I must say, we now live where our favorite holiday place was and now is.

So many years ago, so many things that happened in the meantime from then to now. Well we made it through the tough times and the good times are remembered with fondness.

With the dementia thingy I don’t remember anymore detail, but it was and still is an awesome piece of work.

PROMPT: SNAKE

It can be a funny one or adventures one or whatever. When finished please just put in tags: Discover prompts

Toodles

Much love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)

An angel called Frankie

Today I would love to tell you about Frankie, my very own angel. Telling this story comes because of this post I read https://example30147.wordpress.com/ . Okay… here goes:

Long long ago, there was this… Oops, this is not a fable or fiction, but a true story.

In the 1990’s we lived in Welkom in the very flat province of the Orange Free State in South Africa, we now live in the very full of mountains Eastern Cape province of South Africa. I used to go and get my bread and milk and such at a tiny shopping center close to where we lived. There Frankie did his job. Some… ok most people would call him a beggar, but I did not see him as a beggar.

He always showed me an available place to park when he saw me coming and would stop the traffic for me to reverse and be on my way. When I came out of the shop, he carried my bags for me to my car. Now this relationship did not start up easily, because so many beggars took me for a ride because many times if I bought them bread they just dump it in the bin or disappear into the Bottle store, in front of me, some of them damage your car or threaten to kill you if you refuse to give them something. So I don’t like beggars and I don’t carry cash with me anyway.

Now Frankie was not remotely anything like that. He had lovely manners and somehow always were neat and clean even though he wore rags. Later on we started making small talk, mostly about Jesus, but later about where he lives and his girlfriend… Yes Frankie had a girlfriend and all sorts of stuff. One day I started to pull away after still chatting with Frankie through an open window, when all of a sudden he put his hand through the window… I had the fright of my life, but he only locked my door.”Madam, always remember to lock your doors and keep them locked, I want you to be safe.” Such a sweetheart.

He kept on telling me to lock my door and if I don’t remember, he will lock it for me through the window. It later on became a well remembered habit of mine to lock my car doors.I will always give him money and much more than my husband most probably knew, but I knew it was an income for him. I suspect my husband and kids also gave Frankie money while I wasn’t looking. So Frankie became part of our lives.

One time Frankie was absent and we could not find him just before the store closed that night, so we asked the owner, who by the way also always gave Frankie a little job here and there, like sweeping the pavement for money. He then told us Frankie lost the place where he lived and were sleeping behind the shop under some boxes… he never told me about it and still was just his cheery self. So we went to fetch him, dirty and hungry and took him home. We gave him a bath, something to eat and made a bed for him in the lounge. The next day we took him back and later that day after going back to ask if he was ok, he assured us he found a new home. Frankie wasn’t very clever and I know there was something medically wrong with him.

One day I stopped at a stop street right across from the Court. All of a sudden I felt someone pulling at my back door trying to get into my car. I was so afraid, but because of Frankie, my doors were locked. Strangely the two perpetrators all of a sudden just stood back with a look of horror on there faces. They then quickly turned around and ran away. When I looked in the back of my car, I saw two angels. There was no other person with me that day. This is an experience I will never forget. God’s angels always protects us, being it heavenly angels or angels in the form of our dear Frankie.

Now that is the story of our Frankie. Sometimes we would still wonder if he is ok or not or even still alive. We loved our Frankie.

I would love to hear if you have similar experiences. Just post a comment with a link to your blog, so that I can share in your experience.

Much love and kindness.

Saro

5 Things that made me happy.

Little Konna and me.

I missed yesterday, but I don’t think I should put any pressure on myself. Did however started up some drafts for ideas, just hope I remember lol.

1. The unconditional love of a child. This little angel running to me with arms wide open to hug me and let met pick him up, makes me happy. I really don’t mind keeping him entertained for the whole day, while his mom is helping me in the house.

2. We are all at home, but what would really make me happy is if everybody can just get on fabulously all the time.

3. I like the color red 😉

4. I like the music of Avi Caplan. He has the most awesome bass voice and I love Acapella , music.

5. I love to sometimes just sit in my chair and do absolutely nothing.

That’s it for today. Counted my blessings and all. Enjoy your day and try out posting short lists of counting your blessings. It helps make you feel better in realizing not everything is bad.

Much love and kindness.

Saro

5 things that I liked today.

Sheesshhhh this thing updated again and I will have to figure stuff out again…. will have to go without the rose today, but here goes:

1. My friend of many years from my game Dawn of Titans visited my blog…. hi Matgear 😁 It really made me happy. I’ve been neglecting my game lately and he promised to spam comment my blog unless I up my game. I did go in and stole or cap a few lands from Hugsforfree alliance.

2. Putting up the extra chicken coop was much easier today.

3. Again my dog Boelie. The two of us was sitting quite peaceful, when he jumped up and ran to the back door and gave crying sounds. I jumped up immediately and saw it was the neighbour’s dog pressing his nose hungrily against the chicken coop. I opened the door for him and like Flash and Superman combined, he stormed out and took care of the villian. Then he came back and peed on the two bunny cages and where the chickens was…. whatch out you villian, this is my territory and family. Mommies guard dog. Huge Bullmastife.

4. I finally made that oven baked veggies. It was jummy.

5. My husband send me a funny video of a woman starting her husband up like a Lister engine to mop the floor. My husband always always says he is going to start me up like a Lister engine when I’m lethargic. It is our private joke… can’t believe when he found it on facebook.

I did it. 5 things positive….. go try it, it works.

Much love and kindness

Saro

5 Positive things.

This is difficult today…

1. I love how my dog looks at me. He has the softest loving eyes. He makes me feel safe.

2. Woodsie our not pure bred Sylky chicken laid an egg 2 days in a row. Yesterday we heard the 4 chickens making a terrible noise. Everyone stormed out, thinking th neighbours dog is playing peeping Tom again. Nope they all stood in a circle being happy about the egg that Woodsie laid in the middle of the chicken coop.

I found another one when I went to feed them just now. It is quite a picture to see how they all looked at the egg… It was still warm. It is one cock named Becky (he has a deformed beak and is a beautiful buff Orpington) then he has 3 wifes. Kleintjie and Daisy, black Pekins and then the famous Woodsie.

I wonder if they want some offspring, since Becky is regularly doing his duty. That in itself is something to behold. The hens disappear under him, when he is doing his thing and after a big noise you just see this tiny black hen running away from underneath him. Okay, I think I just did the unmentionable and discussed our chickens sex life online… Really?

3. I love my eldest daughter’s gold coloured hair. It is so beautiful and she herself is so beautiful inside and out.

4. We got awesome gifts from one of our aftercare kid’s mothers.

5. God is good, all the time. I love my friend Asanda Kwenena, she is saying this everytime I see her and she gives me hugs and tells me she loves me. Her beautiful kids Vuvu and Olo is also in my aftercare.

Okay, see it wasn’t that difficult. Sometimes we just need to take our hand off of our face, so that we don’t just see the missery in life.

But anyway, much love and kindness.

Saro (Elmarie)