I’m back blogging.

Ok, I’m just going to type as it comes up. I have not been blogging all this time, because I was afraid that I cannot do it anymore. It was shaky according to my standards already, but let me not be harsh on myself… I do have early onset vascular dementia after all.

I started out getting an image, which I don’t like anymore, but decided to keep it anyway. I woke up one morning somewhere end last year and my speech was almost gone and what was left, was incomprehensible. It was dreadful. I already had aphasia after the first stroke, but not that bad.

Well I started making paper beads and then jewelry. Something I just could not believe, because I have severe hand tremors. At one stage I could not write, had to be fed etc. I so felt pathetic, which of cause is stupid. How can a person feel pathetic about something you can’t help. I just tried to email from my phone some of the photos of my jewelry to my laptop, but the fricken thing updated again and of cause I will have to figure it out again from scratch. Well to make this shorter, my hand tremors improved and my speech. How that works, is beyond me, although I read on google that they use art therapy for speech problems. And of cause, God is awesome and deserve all the credit, because He is the one putting this paper bead, jewelry making thing in me. I don’t care what doctors say, that’s what happened to me. I do not take new medication, in fact the medication I’ve been taking for my hand tremors, my pharmacist is unable to get hold of.

In the meantime, I noticed that my memory is going downhill. I always was still aware of what went wrong, now most of the time I just don’t know, which in a way is bliss. Not beating myself up that much.

My family also is making progress. There is no more…. don’t worry mommy I also forget with a whole story about the forgetting. What most people don’t realize is that normal forget is something you can be reminded and you remember again or going back in your tracks or whatever trick you do to remember something…. with us there is just a black hole… nothingness. Whatever we forgot just never existed where it concerns us Us, being people that falls under the dementia umbrella. I have a note for the 30th of March in my diary to contribute for tommy otter. Who and what the hell that is, is beyond me. It is written with my pink pen in my best handwriting. Oh well, one of those things. It kind of suck to put something in your diary to remember and when you get to it, have absolutely no idea what it is.

I can’t remember what I really wanted to say, except that I wanted to see if I can still write. Well I hope it is not to shabby. My reading is starting to suck…. long things only get read about a quarter in, then the not remember kicks in.

Now since I don’t like too long stuff let me say bye. This was day 2 of total lockdown for South Africa. Hope I will be able to organize a schedule. Jewelry, blogging, online game and ofc the chickens.

Toodles

Saro (Elmarie)

Standing still 2

Some time ago I wrote about, just standing still by someone to comfort. This is counting for my 5 things that made me happy.

I think I mentioned a million and one times that my friends sort of disappeared. They are busy, specially over season as this is a farming community. Some of it is I suppose my fault as well, I did not go to visit them and on the other hand, I cannot drive anymore and to get my family to drive me around to visit is another matter all together, but I suppose they are busy too and my husband is complaining about using too much petrol, unless he go and visit his friend, which is an uncle, which I suppose does not count and now I suppose I should shut up about that.

This morning me and hubby went to church for a change and was early as usual. The next moment a friend of mine, her name is also Elmarie, came to me. I was still standing in the passage, She asked me how I was and I started crying of cause as you might have guessed. She told me she missed me and loves me and then gave me a hug. She is much younger than me, but she serves the Lord with all her heart. I asked how her kids was, they were in my Aftercare center and then told her about the dementia. She gave me another hug and told me that all I ever have to remember is how much God loves me. Sometimes we forget.

When I got home I found a text message on my phone with the next bible passage:

Psalm 63 The Passion Translation (TPT)

Thirsting for God

63 For the Pure and Shining One
King David’s song when he was exiled in the Judean wilderness
O God of my life, I’m lovesick for you in this weary wilderness.
I thirst with the deepest longings to love you more,
with cravings in my heart that can’t be described.
Such yearning grips my soul for you, my God!
I’m energized every time I enter
your heavenly sanctuary to seek more of your power
and drink in more of your glory.
For your tender mercies mean more to me than life itself.
How I love and praise you, God!
Daily I will worship you passionately and with all my heart.
My arms will wave to you like banners of praise.
I overflow with praise when I come before you,
for the anointing of your presence satisfies me like nothing else.
You are such a rich banquet of pleasure to my soul.
6–7 I lie awake each night thinking of you
and reflecting on how you help me like a father.
I sing through the night under your splendor-shadow,
offering up to you my songs of delight and joy!
With passion I pursue and cling to you.
Because I feel your grip on my life,
I keep my soul close to your heart.
Those who plot to destroy me shall descend into the darkness of hell.
10 They will be consumed by their own evil
and become nothing more than dust under our feet.[a]
11 These liars will be silenced forever!
But with the anointing of a king I will dance and rejoice
along with all his lovers who trust in him.

And this song: https://youtu.be/IUhJNA0XGqc from Chris Tomlin.

Only Jesus knows our hearts and can do things like this. Send and angel to comfort you. I so love God and you should too. Another song: https://youtu.be/SAhlIHCZw5A In Moments like these a love song to the Lord of Lords.

Much love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)

An angel called Frankie

Today I would love to tell you about Frankie, my very own angel. Telling this story comes because of this post I read https://example30147.wordpress.com/ . Okay… here goes:

Long long ago, there was this… Oops, this is not a fable or fiction, but a true story.

In the 1990’s we lived in Welkom in the very flat province of the Orange Free State in South Africa, we now live in the very full of mountains Eastern Cape province of South Africa. I used to go and get my bread and milk and such at a tiny shopping center close to where we lived. There Frankie did his job. Some… ok most people would call him a beggar, but I did not see him as a beggar.

He always showed me an available place to park when he saw me coming and would stop the traffic for me to reverse and be on my way. When I came out of the shop, he carried my bags for me to my car. Now this relationship did not start up easily, because so many beggars took me for a ride because many times if I bought them bread they just dump it in the bin or disappear into the Bottle store, in front of me, some of them damage your car or threaten to kill you if you refuse to give them something. So I don’t like beggars and I don’t carry cash with me anyway.

Now Frankie was not remotely anything like that. He had lovely manners and somehow always were neat and clean even though he wore rags. Later on we started making small talk, mostly about Jesus, but later about where he lives and his girlfriend… Yes Frankie had a girlfriend and all sorts of stuff. One day I started to pull away after still chatting with Frankie through an open window, when all of a sudden he put his hand through the window… I had the fright of my life, but he only locked my door.”Madam, always remember to lock your doors and keep them locked, I want you to be safe.” Such a sweetheart.

He kept on telling me to lock my door and if I don’t remember, he will lock it for me through the window. It later on became a well remembered habit of mine to lock my car doors.I will always give him money and much more than my husband most probably knew, but I knew it was an income for him. I suspect my husband and kids also gave Frankie money while I wasn’t looking. So Frankie became part of our lives.

One time Frankie was absent and we could not find him just before the store closed that night, so we asked the owner, who by the way also always gave Frankie a little job here and there, like sweeping the pavement for money. He then told us Frankie lost the place where he lived and were sleeping behind the shop under some boxes… he never told me about it and still was just his cheery self. So we went to fetch him, dirty and hungry and took him home. We gave him a bath, something to eat and made a bed for him in the lounge. The next day we took him back and later that day after going back to ask if he was ok, he assured us he found a new home. Frankie wasn’t very clever and I know there was something medically wrong with him.

One day I stopped at a stop street right across from the Court. All of a sudden I felt someone pulling at my back door trying to get into my car. I was so afraid, but because of Frankie, my doors were locked. Strangely the two perpetrators all of a sudden just stood back with a look of horror on there faces. They then quickly turned around and ran away. When I looked in the back of my car, I saw two angels. There was no other person with me that day. This is an experience I will never forget. God’s angels always protects us, being it heavenly angels or angels in the form of our dear Frankie.

Now that is the story of our Frankie. Sometimes we would still wonder if he is ok or not or even still alive. We loved our Frankie.

I would love to hear if you have similar experiences. Just post a comment with a link to your blog, so that I can share in your experience.

Much love and kindness.

Saro

5 Things that made me happy.

Little Konna and me.

I missed yesterday, but I don’t think I should put any pressure on myself. Did however started up some drafts for ideas, just hope I remember lol.

1. The unconditional love of a child. This little angel running to me with arms wide open to hug me and let met pick him up, makes me happy. I really don’t mind keeping him entertained for the whole day, while his mom is helping me in the house.

2. We are all at home, but what would really make me happy is if everybody can just get on fabulously all the time.

3. I like the color red 😉

4. I like the music of Avi Caplan. He has the most awesome bass voice and I love Acapella , music.

5. I love to sometimes just sit in my chair and do absolutely nothing.

That’s it for today. Counted my blessings and all. Enjoy your day and try out posting short lists of counting your blessings. It helps make you feel better in realizing not everything is bad.

Much love and kindness.

Saro

5 things that I liked today.

Sheesshhhh this thing updated again and I will have to figure stuff out again…. will have to go without the rose today, but here goes:

1. My friend of many years from my game Dawn of Titans visited my blog…. hi Matgear 😁 It really made me happy. I’ve been neglecting my game lately and he promised to spam comment my blog unless I up my game. I did go in and stole or cap a few lands from Hugsforfree alliance.

2. Putting up the extra chicken coop was much easier today.

3. Again my dog Boelie. The two of us was sitting quite peaceful, when he jumped up and ran to the back door and gave crying sounds. I jumped up immediately and saw it was the neighbour’s dog pressing his nose hungrily against the chicken coop. I opened the door for him and like Flash and Superman combined, he stormed out and took care of the villian. Then he came back and peed on the two bunny cages and where the chickens was…. whatch out you villian, this is my territory and family. Mommies guard dog. Huge Bullmastife.

4. I finally made that oven baked veggies. It was jummy.

5. My husband send me a funny video of a woman starting her husband up like a Lister engine to mop the floor. My husband always always says he is going to start me up like a Lister engine when I’m lethargic. It is our private joke… can’t believe when he found it on facebook.

I did it. 5 things positive….. go try it, it works.

Much love and kindness

Saro