Sticky hands and toilet tea.

Hi everyone. I just had the idea of writing some of the stories of when my children were small. All ready did one about Nita my youngest and the turmeric accident.

I so wish I could show the photos, but I don’t know how to get them on my ancient laptop. I so wish I had a new one…. state of the art new one…. in fact so new, that it will take me a while to figure it out…. I got dementia right? lmao

One day me and the two of them were playing tea tea. Table set by them all fixed, even “tea” in the cups. After about the third cup daintily sipped with pinkies in the air, I started wondering where the water came from. See the two little nuggets were still way to small to reach any tap. So the next time Lora, my eldest, went to refill the teapot, I tiptoed after her…. Dear Lord she filled the teapot out of the toilet. I was so speechless. In fact I’m still speechless. She just turned around with her lovely blonde hair like a halo and blue eyes and asked…. Mummy, do you like my tea? I just picked up the little muchkin and smothered her with kisses. After that incident I had to expand their education.

I used to drive an old… very old truck. As they grew bigger, and it rained, they put their schoolbags where their feet should be and the knees were next to their ears… Lol one day something went wrong with the hooter and we drove all the way to the garage while the hooter were hooting and hooting. First we freaked out and then we laughed so loud, that the tears were flowing down our cheeks. When we pulled into the gas station, the owner came running out, indicating I should open the bonnet and just pulled a wire…. SILENCE… SILENCE… BLISSFUL SILENCE and us laughing. I think I’m getting off the track.

What I wanted to tell was that when they were really small, I would take them out of the truck one by one, put their hands against the truck and told them to stick to the side of the truck, mummy want’s them safe and they might meet up with my hand if they don’t stick to the side of the truck. They never needed punishment. People would look at us, as if we came from Marsh. When we come back from the shop… same thing. Stick to the side, mummy want to put the shopping in the truck. Same thing when we for instance went to the doctor… I would let them sit next to each other on a chair or couch and told them to stick… they never moved. They were and still is such adorable children. I love them to the moon and back. The memories are so special. I now hear about a few of their excursions, and adventures that would never have made it past me… They definitely had some wisdom and some real moves when it came to doing…. Mummy must not find out things. Nothing ever bad. Only like hiding in the tree when I need them to do something… well, that one ended when one of them fell from the tree. No injuries, only now Mummy knows about one of the hiding places.

Lol, talking about that, one day I heard them screaming something terrible. I ran out and found one of them, can’t remember which one, most probably Nita hanging from the wire fence hooked on her panty, dress over the head. They apparently went to visit with the boys next door, by climbing over the fence. That idea definitely came from Lora, I’m convinced and sure.

Got to go. Thank you for reading and sharing my memories.

Lots of love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)

5 Positive things.

This is difficult today…

1. I love how my dog looks at me. He has the softest loving eyes. He makes me feel safe.

2. Woodsie our not pure bred Sylky chicken laid an egg 2 days in a row. Yesterday we heard the 4 chickens making a terrible noise. Everyone stormed out, thinking th neighbours dog is playing peeping Tom again. Nope they all stood in a circle being happy about the egg that Woodsie laid in the middle of the chicken coop.

I found another one when I went to feed them just now. It is quite a picture to see how they all looked at the egg… It was still warm. It is one cock named Becky (he has a deformed beak and is a beautiful buff Orpington) then he has 3 wifes. Kleintjie and Daisy, black Pekins and then the famous Woodsie.

I wonder if they want some offspring, since Becky is regularly doing his duty. That in itself is something to behold. The hens disappear under him, when he is doing his thing and after a big noise you just see this tiny black hen running away from underneath him. Okay, I think I just did the unmentionable and discussed our chickens sex life online… Really?

3. I love my eldest daughter’s gold coloured hair. It is so beautiful and she herself is so beautiful inside and out.

4. We got awesome gifts from one of our aftercare kid’s mothers.

5. God is good, all the time. I love my friend Asanda Kwenena, she is saying this everytime I see her and she gives me hugs and tells me she loves me. Her beautiful kids Vuvu and Olo is also in my aftercare.

Okay, see it wasn’t that difficult. Sometimes we just need to take our hand off of our face, so that we don’t just see the missery in life.

But anyway, much love and kindness.

Saro (Elmarie)

About cows and suitcases.

Hi there 🙂 Few days since I wrote a blog. Been busy busy and busy. However I’ve been reading my favorite blogs. Everyone I follow are my favorites and thank you for all the new friends following my blog. I love yours too!

Yesterday was quite some day. I’m trying to help my eldest with her teaching practice projects. Now the theme is farm animals. Now thinking with dementia sometimes is like morse code. Think, think, gap, think, gap, gap, gap, think, think , quite some gap-a-thinking. Not to mention remembering: talk, talk, talk…. what the hell did we talk about? About shoes, reminds my friend, shoes… shoes… shoes? Nahhh Have I told you the story about my grandmothers chickens?…. yes dear half an hour ago. Dang.. Ok How are your chickens doing? She farms with chickens.

Now about the teaching practice projects. I’ve been trying think of nice easy projects the little ones could do. Wait, what about a mask of a cow. They can make a collage on a paper plate. Next moment, I’m trying to remember what a cows ears looks like, but in my memory image of a cow, I just don’t see ears. Not pointy ones, not hanging ones etc. Next question to my husband… Hi, does cows have ears? You must have seen his face! Of cause cows have ears, all living things have ears. For the life of me I still couldn’t picture the cow’s ears. Later we went to town and passed some cows. My husband applied the brakes very enthusiastically and showed me cows next to the road. See love, they do have ears. Big floppy ones. Ok cows have ears. In bed last night, he googled some cows and showed me the ears… sweet old darling.

Now that was just me. It was very, very cold yesterday, with strong wind and rain. My husband went out to take his suitcase out of the car and decided to go park the car in a safe place. Just guess what… he forgot that he placed the suitcase behind the car. Whoopsy daisy there he ran over the suitcase. Right in the middle, he said. I wanted to know if the suitcase was still okay and the contents. Nope not going to look. I think he was a bit worried. When we got to bed he put the suitcase on the bed… well it is still one of those old good ones. No damage, all just fine, he declared with a relieved smile.

Having dementia is not all sad and horrible, you can make the best of what you still have. It all lies in attitude and all that type of things. How you look at it. On the other hand, on a bad day I would have cried my eyes out because cows don’t have ears. Dementia is a horrible thing and difficult, but I decided to live every day to the fullest.

Got to go now. Am going to help a friend of mine that has cancer to wash. Helping others also help you. It makes you feel, you are still okay and can still mean something to someone else.

Nuf said.

Lots of love and kindness

Saro

Muffins LMAO

I simply got to tell this. My young ladies got me to make savory muffins just now. First time since things went south for me. I searched and searched for a recipe, got one and went to the kitchen. I went into a panic, but they just told me there is no turn around.

So first me and Nita argued whether I should first put butter in the pans or first make the dough. Right Nita won that round. Did it and thought it was not a nice job but I finished it. Then first mixed the dry ingredients with the meat, cheese and corn, then discovered that the mustard, salt and red pepper is also dry ingredients, but what the hell, I just put it in. Then mixed the wet stuff, got confused about the size of the eggs and if I should put one extra in. Good, mixed it together and spooned it into the muffin pans. The oven was already on.

Quite happy with myself, I sat down and started reading my messages on my phone. Next moment I realized I never looked what time I put the muffins into the oven.

Panic broke lose!!!! Nita said, don’t worry mum, just play it by eye, if it is brown, take it out. Lora, nahhh not to worry everything will be ok. I kept looking at my watch and I simply could not make out the time. Then I realized I must have pressed a button on my watch that changed it from pm/am and then tried to figure out how long it is in the oven.

Then Nita went to the kitchen to make us some coffee. I NEVER EVEN PUT THE MUFFINS IN THE OVEN. Everybody was laughing. It was so so funny. Then Nita put the muffins in the oven and set her timer. Now just for the results and the next batch. Going to make lots and lots of muffins.

Life with dementia can be fun too 🙂

Much love and kindness

Saro

Black holes and beautiful

Hallo my dear friends.

Today is not a good day. I feel down, don’t know if it is the bipolar or the dementia. It is as if my head just don’t want to work. I’m fed up for my online game that I’m playing. One person that makes me happy today is my friend Omar or Hades108. He is such a good kid and plays with me Dawn of Titans. Or not a kid anymore I think he is 22. I think I’m getting off the topic here.

Yesterday I was doodling on my laptop and the next moment my eldest said that I promised to go make tea and bread. I had no idea what she was talking about or that I promised to do that.

I messed up with taking my medication last night and this morning I think. It gets confusing to know how and when to drink 11 different pills. So my body feels heavy, mind on strike. Just want to stay in bed.

Again off topic. Living with dementia is having black holes in our memories. As you see on the lovely photo I found and finally figured out how to get on my blog, the so called black holes is not really ugly black things. (I am not at all knowledgeable about stars and stuff.) If it is not a picture of a black hole in the galaxy, so what.

I don’t want to believe for one moment that we lose all our beautiful colors once dementia starts eating away at us. Somewhere in us we will still be who we are I desperately want to believe, if a person taking care of you can not see that, try to see the beautiful memory of us. We are still beautiful. Whether it is who we were or still is. I still love and care for others and even myself. Don’t neglect loving yourself, it is not narcissistic to just once in a while look in the mirror and say:”Hello beautiful”

Have to say goodbye now, so see you later beautiful!

Much love and kindness

Saro

Mental health speaking engagement

Hello dear friend 🙂

I really hope you had a lovely day. Mine feels like a tiny hangover. Nope, I’m not the drinking type. Suspicion is that my left side have a cold and if you don’t mind to much information, only my left nostril is leaking kind of.

Yesterday was the day of the great speaking engagement on Dementia, stigma and mental health. First of all, I lost my notes on my way there. Found it this morning in my famous handbag. It was a very loud and noisy gathering and everything was one big hazy confusion for me. I was the first one to speak, which was good.

So I started off with my spider story, trying to work up my guts for the stigma fear and when everyone laughed their guts out, I started my story. Cried my eyes out, got everyone else crying, but I did it.

I can’t really remember much of what I said today, but I know that I told them that a mental illness is not something to be ashamed of. That there is a light in the darkness. Just keep going. Keep your head high and do the best you can. Don’t hide, get a good support group. God is the light in our lives. He takes away the darkness.

Always, always remember there is hope. To be honest I don’t always see the hope, but I know it is there. If you are living with dementia or any other mental health issue, never ever give up.

Lots of love

Saro

(I don’t know how to add pictures to my blogs… but I will figure it out again 🙂 )

Another spider…

It was a lovely day and everyone home again. As the sun went down, it was shower time again. Now my young ladies usually goes first to shower and then mum is ushered into the bathroom. I told them about the spider incident earlier the day and all had a good giggle knowing about me and spiders.

Well, I sneaked in, asking if there are any spiders on the horizon. “No mum, coast is clear. So I got undressed while checking out the bathroom inc by inc. Cool, no spiders. Had a nice shower, actually spend a few minutes extra under the warm water to warm the old bones and got out to dry and dress.

Lo and behold when I took my towel off the rail, a spider appeared from inside my towel, ran over my fricken hand to the toilet and watched me with those freaky red eyes. (ok, I could not really see the spiders eyes) I hollered, screamed, jumped up and down all naked and wet, while my dear young ladies laughed their heads off.

Then the night in shining armor, my dear husband, ran into the bathroom, declared the spider poisonous and subsequently killed it with my deodorant bottle.

The last comment after I calmed down from my dear young ladies: ” Mum, at least dad did not just give you the weather report.” (He always just says that the spiders says rain is coming) My ass!!!!!

Shower + Spider

Hallo 🙂

Today I feel much better than yesterday.

Last night I went to the bathroom to have a shower. Now as things goes, you get undressed, make sure you don’t have your watch or glasses on, enter the shower and close the door.

Now as I wanted to open the taps, my eye spied a huge spider… as big as my hand on my right hand side just above the small window. AAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAH a scream enough to wake the dead left my mouth through my lips. That was the fastest I ever got out of the shower. I always do it very careful, minding the painful knee and danger of falling.

Just there and then I got dressed again and into bed. Thoughts about killing the spider whirled through my mind. Now the dear Lord build me like a muffin and not a stick. Contemplating the murder of the spider that takes care of the flies and mosquitoes, I realize two things: 1. Should I attempt to kill the spider and I failed the first time and that thing with the many creepy legs starts running… I might just take the shower apart. 2. I was sure that I already was past my “sell by date”. So shower I had too.

Now the brave girl I am, I decided to attempt to shower again, for man kind and all those brave things they say. Went back to the bathroom, got undressed, opened the shower door and had a good chat with spider. Carefully I entered the shower, opened the taps, so not taking my eyes off the spider. Just as I was soaped all over, that spider lifted his two front legs and wave them. That was the fastest rinse ever, and out the shower. Toweled dry, got dressed and jumped into bed.

Moving those front legs, I think spider was either clapping his hands for me being brave or… C’mon mam, move your ass, I see a tasty fly and you told me not to move 🙂

Good bye for now and lots of love.

Saro