Sticky hands and toilet tea.

Hi everyone. I just had the idea of writing some of the stories of when my children were small. All ready did one about Nita my youngest and the turmeric accident.

I so wish I could show the photos, but I don’t know how to get them on my ancient laptop. I so wish I had a new one…. state of the art new one…. in fact so new, that it will take me a while to figure it out…. I got dementia right? lmao

One day me and the two of them were playing tea tea. Table set by them all fixed, even “tea” in the cups. After about the third cup daintily sipped with pinkies in the air, I started wondering where the water came from. See the two little nuggets were still way to small to reach any tap. So the next time Lora, my eldest, went to refill the teapot, I tiptoed after her…. Dear Lord she filled the teapot out of the toilet. I was so speechless. In fact I’m still speechless. She just turned around with her lovely blonde hair like a halo and blue eyes and asked…. Mummy, do you like my tea? I just picked up the little muchkin and smothered her with kisses. After that incident I had to expand their education.

I used to drive an old… very old truck. As they grew bigger, and it rained, they put their schoolbags where their feet should be and the knees were next to their ears… Lol one day something went wrong with the hooter and we drove all the way to the garage while the hooter were hooting and hooting. First we freaked out and then we laughed so loud, that the tears were flowing down our cheeks. When we pulled into the gas station, the owner came running out, indicating I should open the bonnet and just pulled a wire…. SILENCE… SILENCE… BLISSFUL SILENCE and us laughing. I think I’m getting off the track.

What I wanted to tell was that when they were really small, I would take them out of the truck one by one, put their hands against the truck and told them to stick to the side of the truck, mummy want’s them safe and they might meet up with my hand if they don’t stick to the side of the truck. They never needed punishment. People would look at us, as if we came from Marsh. When we come back from the shop… same thing. Stick to the side, mummy want to put the shopping in the truck. Same thing when we for instance went to the doctor… I would let them sit next to each other on a chair or couch and told them to stick… they never moved. They were and still is such adorable children. I love them to the moon and back. The memories are so special. I now hear about a few of their excursions, and adventures that would never have made it past me… They definitely had some wisdom and some real moves when it came to doing…. Mummy must not find out things. Nothing ever bad. Only like hiding in the tree when I need them to do something… well, that one ended when one of them fell from the tree. No injuries, only now Mummy knows about one of the hiding places.

Lol, talking about that, one day I heard them screaming something terrible. I ran out and found one of them, can’t remember which one, most probably Nita hanging from the wire fence hooked on her panty, dress over the head. They apparently went to visit with the boys next door, by climbing over the fence. That idea definitely came from Lora, I’m convinced and sure.

Got to go. Thank you for reading and sharing my memories.

Lots of love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)


5 things that I liked today.

Sheesshhhh this thing updated again and I will have to figure stuff out again…. will have to go without the rose today, but here goes:

1. My friend of many years from my game Dawn of Titans visited my blog…. hi Matgear 😁 It really made me happy. I’ve been neglecting my game lately and he promised to spam comment my blog unless I up my game. I did go in and stole or cap a few lands from Hugsforfree alliance.

2. Putting up the extra chicken coop was much easier today.

3. Again my dog Boelie. The two of us was sitting quite peaceful, when he jumped up and ran to the back door and gave crying sounds. I jumped up immediately and saw it was the neighbour’s dog pressing his nose hungrily against the chicken coop. I opened the door for him and like Flash and Superman combined, he stormed out and took care of the villian. Then he came back and peed on the two bunny cages and where the chickens was…. whatch out you villian, this is my territory and family. Mommies guard dog. Huge Bullmastife.

4. I finally made that oven baked veggies. It was jummy.

5. My husband send me a funny video of a woman starting her husband up like a Lister engine to mop the floor. My husband always always says he is going to start me up like a Lister engine when I’m lethargic. It is our private joke… can’t believe when he found it on facebook.

I did it. 5 things positive….. go try it, it works.

Much love and kindness


Five things to be grateful for 1.

I woke up today.

Stroked a bunny after feeding him.

My youngest is coming home.

Holiday is starting today.

I had such fun with my Dementia Mentors friends last night.

Ok, I am going to try and do this every day. Counting my blessings. I challenge you to do the same. If you decide to do the same, post a link back to this post and use the red rose, thank you.

Much love and kindness.

Saro (Elmarie)

Funny… where???

Hmmmm this being brutally honest can become a bit ouch. Talked to a friend yesterday, that said that she don’t want to talk about sad things all the time. She want to have fun and laugh. It was the first time we talked one on one, usually we are part of a group chat.

I think I lost my funny somewhere, or didn’t. I’m so intense busy with dementia and dying and such stuff, that I forgot funny. I forgot to live and enjoy stuff. It is as if my mouth is saying one thing, but my heart and head are on another chapter. How to get out? How do I find my funny again. I used to be the funniest person ever and could find humor in everything.

Or what if I am having fun here and there and forgot about it? Twice now someone told me that I said something and I have absolutely no recollection of it. It is just not there.

How do I stop being scared and accept or get used to the inevitable. My grandma had vascular dementia. But I was not much there to see or experience it. My aunt, bless her beautiful soul, took care of her.

Sometimes it feels as if it is I, me and myself. I have never been a selfish person or an I, me and myself person. What stages does a person goes through when they get their diagnosis. No matter what illness. “Sorry dear, go get your stuff in order. You are going to forget your family and everyone and then you are going to die. Yes sorry dear, but Vascular dementia is terminal”

Just went to the bathroom and had an epiphany…. sometimes I get the best ideas there. Sorry if it is too much information. My head really are screwed. With the bipolar, I desperately want to take my own life and die and with the Vascular dementia I am going to die and don’t want to die. Geezzzzz how does that sound… you should see my face now… wanted to write: as if I smelled a fart…. but, oh well there goes.

This blog writing thing does something for a person. It actually helps me think and see things for how it is or not. I really hope that this musings of me help some caregiver to understand or another person with some sort of dementia to understand that they are not alone.

Got to go to bed now. Meds are almost kicking in.

Much love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)

Topsy Turvey

Hello, hello, hello!!!!! Me here 🙂 O dear, everything is so busy in my house. The kids are doing teaching practice, I cook, try to play my game…. which sadly takes the back burner. My Titans and fellow Dawn of Titan addicts will just have to understand.

What is good, is that I cook, get everything ready to go to work etc. etc. etc. Even though it is done with reminders and instructions. Thing is, I’m still able to do that and hopefully will be able to do it for a long time still to come. Dementia creeping up on a person can be quite intimidating.

Something I enjoy doing, is to Zoom with my fellow dementia friends. It is simply awesome. Sometimes it is sad and we discuss what needs to be done before you get to that stage where you are not able to function anymore. Other times we wonder if there are other planets with interesting people on is and lots of flowers.

My eldest brought a nice snotty nose home with compliments from a class and 40 preschoolers… and passed it on to me. So I feel like a troll. Well a snotty nose is better than the german measels the youngest brought home last year. Sorry if this is a bit tmi lol.

I want to watch my Netflix series… When calls the heart. Such a warming story…. no time now. So there’s a suggestion for a good series.

My two brothers buried my mom’s ashes this weekend in my dad’s grave and I found out that my second youngest brother eloped in May. He got married in the magistrates office and never told us. That hurts. I would not have been able to go, as I cannot travel far anymore, but would have loved to phone him and say congrats. I really am happy that he found somebody after been lonely for 50 years. Never been married or had a girlfriend in his 50 years and now he found a mate. I am so happy for him.

Another thought I’m working on is to get some sort of dementia awareness and groups or connecting people with dementia in South Africa. All I find on Google is for Bipolar and depression and anxiety. I have all that, but it is nicely controlled by medication and I’m as happy as you can get. I think I must change my blogs name and take the bipolar part away, since I’m obviously so not going to write about that.

I mentioned it to some of my dementia mentors friends and were told it was very difficult to do and it took 6 years to get where they are now…. Well a person can try is my opinion.

Okay thanks for listening or reading or both. My alarm went off… time for meds and I don’t want to go sleep now. Already had my first warning to get up and get to bed.

Talk to you guys again… by the way… Topsy Turvey, got no idea what that means, but it sounds nice.



Not giving up kinda girl

Hi there. I must find a way that I can blog every day. Today was a funny day, I guess a dementia day. My cellphone updated, now I have to figure it out again. So did the apps. My emails changed and I simply could not send an email. Trying to send one to my friend Minna from Suddenly Mad, but I guess I will figure it out again. I joined a Zoom chat with Dementia Mentors and were pressing buttons hihihihi. Well somehow I have to figure out how it works lol. It sort of makes me sad, because I used to be so good with computers and cellphones and stuff. Even finding my way around WordPress seems challenging some days.

Some days I wonder if I suddenly became stupid or something. Someone told me it is the blog fairy that is moving stuff around. Sounds good to me.

Sitting here typing about what I find challenging lately and that it makes me sad, just got me thinking… I AM NOT THE GIVING UP KIND OF GIRL. No I am not and never will be. There are so many things in life that I went through and I am still here, 56 years old.

You can make it, I did. Maybe you or I don’t see it now, but I promise you will make it, whatever it is you and I are going through.

I have a coping mechanism or two. First of all, if I did not have God in my life, I would not have made it. And for goodness sake having dementia and strokes is not God punishing you or that you have so many sins etc. The Love and Grace of God is new every morning.

The other one is making jokes. It’s not bad talking between people with dementia and making jokes only people with dementia would probably understand. Peter one of the guys on Dementia Mentors said that we should live our lives to the fullest. I am doing just that. Some days are foggy yes, but other days are good.

The other day my husband send me into the store to go buy candy (I haven’t been in a store in a long time). I fetched what I wanted, the cashier recognized me and chatted me up. So I took my candy and left… She came running after me Auntie, you forgot to pay. So I went back, payed and told her, next time she sees me, she must ask me if I want to pay cash or with a card. So that was sorted.

Another funny thing I find myself doing is sensory. My hands and fingers. If I cannot remember if I took a specific pill with like a aluminium foil covering on, I just try to remember if I felt the taking out of the pill and the feeling of the sharp edges. If I do, I know I took it. I don’t know what other examples to give. But I try to remember the sound or feel of something and it helps me remember. It is very strange, but it sort of help coping. Sometimes it does not work, but most of the time it does.

I must go and sleep now. Have a lovely day or sleep well.

Please tell me if you have any things you use to cope with the dementia stuff. I would love to know. I need to learn. I will share from my side too.

I will never give up or lie down. I will go out kicking ass… that I promise!

Much love and kindness


About words and the effects

Hello there 🙂

I came across this awesome blog full of such wisdom. Yesterday I had to battle through so many words, good ones, harmful ones etc. I actually feel emotionally and physically drained today. I tried to share this blog, but as I have to find my way everyday anew around wordpress…. Not WordPress’s fault, I will post a link. That part I figured out.

There you go, please go read it. It just might make a big difference.

Toodles for now.

Love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)

The face!

Walking down the corridor and then stop to look into the mirror on the wall. Mirror mirror who is the fairest of them all? Or should I say… what face does the world see today.

Up with the finger, push up left side of mouth, finished. Again, up with the finger, push up the right side of the mouth, finished. Smile grotesque in the mirror. Now the eyes, what to do about the eyes. They are dull, unhappy. What to do about the eyes?

Maybe it is in the heart and in the brain. How to mend the heart that bleeds all this sadness, words and feelings onto unknown ground. Ground harsh and unyielding.

Hi, how are you? I’m fine thank you, says the parrot.