How to work on us

Hallo dear friend

Today I want to participate in https://beckiesmentalmess.blog prompts. I hope this url thing will lead you to Beckies blog.

I’m not aiming to write some dissertation or literary blog. I will just write from the heart. Here is the prompt:

When you first found out that you had a mental illness/disorder, what was your first reaction?  Explain, how this new revelation regarding your health affected you?

I have been diagnosed with two mental disorders/illness. The first was Bipolar Disorder. It explained what was happening to me. My first reaction was: Are people going to think I’m crazy? The effects of the ups and downs was devastating, put in aggression and I was convinced that I was crazy, never mind crazy, I was convinced that I was a monster. The effects on my family was terrible and even worse on me. Guilt, shame etc. etc and I am so not going into bipolar. I’m on so many medication now that the bipolar only shows up very mildly. My most precious pill is Dopaquel. It makes me sleep and take the aggression away.. Me and my family actually have a standing joke about it (our coping mechanism is jokes). Whenever we see a really bad person or character on one of our series, my young ladies will say: “Mum, we just take your Dopaquel away for about a week and send you over” Water is coming out my eyes again, so that is enough about bipolar.

The second was Vascular dementia. I have already blogged about this. It was coming on for almost two years before I was diagnosed. The moment the psychiatrist told me the diagnosis, in a sense I felt relieved that now at least I knew what was wrong. It also caused that everything went black for me, I could not see the “light” any future or life forward for me. When the relief of knowing what it was left, I was scared senseless. I felt out of control and scared of what is happening to me and the inevitable, which I’m still unable to say. I told my friend that my life is shortened.

I once saw an image of Snoopy and his friend sitting on a bench. The boy said: “You know we all are going to die one day?”. Snoopy replied: “Yes, but today we live”

Thank you for reading my blog

Much love and kindness

Saro

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5 thoughts on “How to work on us

  1. I have to say, I’m impressed. You only began blogging a short time ago and here you are linking to other sites like https://beckiesmentalmess.blog/ (which is a good one, thank you) and expressing the emotions you felt when you were diagnosed. You and others like you and Beckie help lessen the sting of the words “mental illness” with your humor and honesty. You do a very difficult thing, even on the days that you feel a little off. Consider yourself appreciated and hugged!

    Liked by 1 person

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