Black holes and beautiful

Dementia, bipolar 1 Minute

Hallo my dear friends.

Today is not a good day. I feel down, don’t know if it is the bipolar or the dementia. It is as if my head just don’t want to work. I’m fed up for my online game that I’m playing. One person that makes me happy today is my friend Omar or Hades108. He is such a good kid and plays with me Dawn of Titans. Or not a kid anymore I think he is 22. I think I’m getting off the topic here.

Yesterday I was doodling on my laptop and the next moment my eldest said that I promised to go make tea and bread. I had no idea what she was talking about or that I promised to do that.

I messed up with taking my medication last night and this morning I think. It gets confusing to know how and when to drink 11 different pills. So my body feels heavy, mind on strike. Just want to stay in bed.

Again off topic. Living with dementia is having black holes in our memories. As you see on the lovely photo I found and finally figured out how to get on my blog, the so called black holes is not really ugly black things. (I am not at all knowledgeable about stars and stuff.) If it is not a picture of a black hole in the galaxy, so what.

I don’t want to believe for one moment that we lose all our beautiful colors once dementia starts eating away at us. Somewhere in us we will still be who we are I desperately want to believe, if a person taking care of you can not see that, try to see the beautiful memory of us. We are still beautiful. Whether it is who we were or still is. I still love and care for others and even myself. Don’t neglect loving yourself, it is not narcissistic to just once in a while look in the mirror and say:”Hello beautiful”

Have to say goodbye now, so see you later beautiful!

Much love and kindness

Saro

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Published by Saro (Elmarie)

Two years ago, I had two strokes and was diagnosed with vascular dementia. It was the most horrible thing that happened to me. As my cognitive impairment is already considerable, there might be a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes. This is a journal and a journey. Doing a draft, leave me with no clue as to what I wanted to write. Thank you for joining me on this venture. When family or friends read this please don't be offended if I mention something that might make you feel uncomfortable. Love you

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10 thoughts on “Black holes and beautiful”

  5. You will be forever beautiful to me. Like in the “Velveteen Rabbit” the Skin Horse says,…”by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” Good night, Beautiful.

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