How everything started going wrong.

In 2017 I started noticing something is wrong with me. When my best friend asked how I am, my answer always was. Not good, but I could not say why.

Before I go any further, my cognitive impairment is already considerable and the two strokes does not help much. I googled cognitive impairment (I used to be a neuro therapist, which says a lot of the dementia) and it means my thinking process is not good any more. People think dementia is only forgetting, but that is only one of the symptoms. So if my spelling or grammar is not so good, please forgive and know that I’m really trying to do something here. I might repeat myself or a sentence might not make sense. My speech are impaired due to the strokes. The speech therapist said it is not all about the words, it is about bringing over the idea of what I want to say.

One day I woke up and I could not think or really speak, so my family took me to our doctor. My blood pressure was sky high, so he gave me some medication for it. My hands always shook, but all of a sudden it started shaking so much that I could not eat on my own or write at all. My walking was off. So once again my family took me to the doctor, with a note with what is wrong, because I could not say what is wrong. He immediately got me admitted at the hospital. A CT scan were done and it showed the two strokes and the multiple infarctions across my brain. So there are many parts over my brain that died off. The two big strokes were new, but the rest were already old.

The neurologist said I do not have parkinsons (the hands shaking) or anything else apart from the two big strokes and the infarctions, which caused my brain to shrink.

Finally I found the most wonderful psychiatrist. I made sure she had all the medical reports and CT scan results. So October 2018 I was diagnosed with vascular dementia.

I decided to be honest in my blogs and I’m crying so much now that I will have to continue later.

Thank you for reading my blog.




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