How things get lost in Dementia land

Hi, long time no see…. or read for that matter 😄.

How does things get lost in Dementia land? It’s actually very easy. You walk through the house on  some kind of mission to do something , see something that looks very important at that moment… Thought 1… I better put that in a place where me and the family can find it immediately, it is after all something that every one is always looking for (catch, if I don’t keep on putting it somewhere else and subsequently forget about it, it would not have been missing in the first place.) Did I mention that when we forget, it is just as if something never existed… a big black hole. Other people can retrace and remember or remember later. In Dementia land, if it’s gone, it’s gone.

Thought 2… what if someone comes in and steal it… it’s my daughter’s most prized possession. .. definitely put it somewhere safe. By now you most probably are in trouble past all redemption. Brilliant idea was to give me a bag, where I can put things.

Then I lose something… that causes extreme anxiety. I do not stop searching or fiddeling or rummaging until I find what I was looking for. Nine out of ten times it is right in front of me and I’m simply unable to see it. Searching for stuff that got “lost” is one of the most terrifying things for me… wait until I start looking for my kids when they are away away from home….

Another thing that gets lost is the fact that I if asked a question… the same one I’m asking now… the previous answer keeps on disappearing. … another opportunity to get in trouble. Sometimes my family gets it, sometimes not. Make peace with it. It’s not going to change. You are the one with the good brain.

Thinking of something. … when you were a child one of the ways you learned, was to ask a million questions a day.  We gave you the right answers and some uncomfortable questions we tell a different story untill you could deal with it…. Mommy, where does babies come from? Yeah righ how old are you lol.

With us, we don’t  really need the real answer (unless we are still so that we can relatively understand, otherwise I’m  going to tell you I don’t have stupid, I have dementia) just one that makes us happy for the moment and much important… keeps us and you safe. Just work with us, not against us.

Now instead of learning, we are losing that learned information. Our brains are dying off, if you are in denial… well get with the program, that’s  how it’s  going to be or already is. I so dread that day, but guess what, Im not going to know if that terrible day arrives, my family is going to experience the decline.

One thing always to remember, we always loved you, still do and forever will. I read on one of the facebook pages about a lady that became her mom’s best friend, where she felt safe and happy even though her Mom did not recognized her anymore.

My family might deny that I get in trouble for stuff, but that’s  what it sometimes feel like.

Toodle, God bless and talk again xxxxx

Saro (Elmarie)