Spooky pirate ship.

Gooey stuff hanging inside the rounds and cracks of a skull. Here and there pits in the seabed. Here and there thunderbolts and soft light in other places…. Ghost ships sailing eerily hence and forth through the mists. Here and there appear images, people’s faces, memories of happenings, just to disappear again in the fog.

Long long ago, there was a Prince and Princess. They had a beautiful little girl called Goldilocks. On the day of her baptism, three…. Where is that beads I were busy making? The blue ones would make a beautiful bracelet… gone is the concentration and effort to read a book. Goldilocks… I think my dear brain missed and forgot the name of my favorite fairy tale.

Wife, don’t you think you should make something to eat? Oh, yes I would say, just want to finish this…. gone…. again: Wife, don’t you think you should make something to eat… so by the fourth time… trouble finds me. I have no sense of when it is time for whatever. I keep on forgetting, specially while busy with something else. So sometimes I forget what I’m busy with and I forget what I’m suppose to do. That’s not the worst scenario… I cannot plan a meal, cannot follow a recipe. Forget the stove on or switch it off when I notice the stove is still on, meantime I just switched it on to cook whatever. I mean, safety comes first and I must be extra careful.

And there I go again… forgot I’m writing the masterpiece of my life about what happens when you have some form of dementia and googled DIY chicken incubators.

Another nonsense that happens, is when you are early onset and still this sexy 57 year old woman or man… how is it possible? It’s not written on my forehead. People forget, my family forget that I have new issues and challenges. Some days I just simply don’t feel well and are unable to explain why I don’t feel well. I get asked by a concerned family member, if I want to go to the doctor or clinic…. but that scares the living daylights out of me and I immediately say no. I recon they will see if something serious is going wrong. Anyway, what are the doctor or clinic going to do about me not feeling well. That’s my reasoning, but now that I see it in writing… That’s not fair, maybe they can do something. But I’m quite sure that I will be able to say yes take me to the doctor if it is necessary or my family will notice I started drooling… sis…. Pulling disgusted face.

What is particularly horrifying for me is my sweetest friends that have Lewybody Dementia. They have hallucinations… scary ones, have sleep disturbances of all kinds or don’t sleep at all. I love them so and wish I could take it away. It is terrible enough to have any sort of Dementia, but Lewybody that takes first prize for Ghost ship sailing into lots of bad misty pirate weather.

Today me and a friend tried to discuss or understand the philosophy of critical reality. At some stage I asked her to give me the book, because I lost track of what she was reading…. Attention span…. I read out loud and couldn’t read many of the words. The sounds came out wrong and the understanding… Well that ship has sailed.

Well, enough of spooky crappy stuff. Going to sleep now.

Lots of love and kindness

Saro (Elmarie)


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