Tag: mental health

About considerable

Hi there 🙂

Now what about considerable can one write about? I keep on going back to my previous blogs and try to fix spelling and whatever and noted that I keep on saying my cognitive impairment is considerable. With my last visit to the psychiatrist, she asked about my bipolar, I told her I have the worst kind. She answered that there is no such thing as the worst kind, there is only bipolar disorder.

Now reality for me is how I experience the considerable and worst kind. Every person is different. Experience things differently. See things differently. You get the big strong men and woman that recons that two broken legs and a broken arm is nothing…. my ass! There is something like honesty.

For me considerable is the knowledge what I was able to do and are not able to do anymore. Getting up in the morning, crying and refusing to go anywhere like a child is terrible. Dementia is not doing it’s part here, I’m suppose to forget that I did that. Well let me cash in on a good day. Haven’t started crying yet… It really is a good day!

I do not know anyone with dementia, so I can not compare.I don’t want to compare to be honest, it will scare the living daylights out of me I’m sure. Going through a day where everything is a hazy confusion is scaring the wax out of me. I noticed some stuff on my online game that I’m playing and wondered where it came from… Mum it was a give away from the developers.(My daughter reminding me. I must tell you stories about my online game, it’s fun)  I have no recollection of it whatsoever. That scares me.

Considerable and worst kind (I must still work up some courage to write about the bipolar) means for me that something big has been taken away from me. My memory is diminished, like a black hole here and there. My thinking process really suck and reasoning literally flew out the window. I am not in control anymore. Fear of the  unknown eats at me bones (did that sound like an accent or something like that? lol)

I am scared and there the water comes out of my eyes again. Must go now, it’s time for meds and bed again. Thank you for listening to me. I do appreciate it very much.

Much love and kindness

Saro

 

 

 

Mental health speaking engagement

Hello dear friend 🙂

I really hope you had a lovely day. Mine feels like a tiny hangover. Nope, I’m not the drinking type. Suspicion is that my left side have a cold and if you don’t mind to much information, only my left nostril is leaking kind of.

Yesterday was the day of the great speaking engagement on Dementia, stigma and mental health. First of all, I lost my notes on my way there. Found it this morning in my famous handbag. It was a very loud and noisy gathering and everything was one big hazy confusion for me. I was the first one to speak, which was good.

So I started off with my spider story, trying to work up my guts for the stigma fear and when everyone laughed their guts out, I started my story. Cried my eyes out, got everyone else crying, but I did it.

I can’t really remember much of what I said today, but I know that I told them that a mental illness is not something to be ashamed of. That there is a light in the darkness. Just keep going. Keep your head high and do the best you can. Don’t hide, get a good support group. God is the light in our lives. He takes away the darkness.

Always, always remember there is hope. To be honest I don’t always see the hope, but I know it is there. If you are living with dementia or any other mental health issue, never ever give up.

Lots of love

Saro

(I don’t know how to add pictures to my blogs… but I will figure it out again 🙂 )